In a move that seems more fitting for a storyline straight out of a Hollywood film than real-life governance, the culture ministry of the Russian republic Chechnya has announced a ban on songs deemed too up-tempo or down-tempo.

The bizarre decision is purportedly aimed at aligning with the country’s musical traditions and eradicating any traces of Westernisation.

According to a report by the Moscow Times, the ministry issued a statement last week declaring: “From now on, all musical, vocal, and choreographic works should correspond to a tempo of 80 to 116 beats per minute.”

Chechen ruler Ramzan Kadyrov, a staunch ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin, defended the move, stating that it is intended to make music “conform to the Chechen mentality”.

Chechen Culture Minister Musa Dadayev doubled down on the decision, adding: “Borrowing musical culture from other peoples is inadmissible.”

Local artists have been given until June 1 to “rewrite” their songs to comply with the new rules. However, for internationally acclaimed artists such as Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, and others, much of their discography will likely be absent from Chechnya’s music scene.

Swift’s dance-pop anthem “Shake it Off,” her ballad “Lover,” and the iconic “Love Story” all fall victim to the ban due to their tempos, as well as “Look What You Made Me Do,” “Cruel Summer,” and “Bad Blood”. Many of Beyoncés hits also fall foul of the new rules.

The ban extends beyond just Swift and Beyoncé. Ariana Grande’s energetic tracks like “yes, and?,” “Side to Side,” and “7 rings” are also barred from being played in Chechnya.

Interestingly, some of Beyoncé’s songs, such as “Texas Hold ‘Em,” “Halo,” and “Crazy in Love,” managed to escape the ban due to their tempos falling within the approved range.

The ban not only affects contemporary pop hits but also genres like techno, trance, mambo, salsa, and waltz, which are deemed too fast under the new regulations.

Even Drake’s chart-topping single “God’s Plan” fails to make the cut due to its slower tempo.